I'm Bisexual, Not Greedy.

I’m Bisexual, Not Greedy.

There always seems to be a pre-defined stigma associated with being bisexual. How dare you have the audacity to like boys AND girls? Don’t ask me where this mass judgement of bisexuality has come from, because I haven’t got a clue. You’d like me if I was straight, and you’d like me if I was gay. Heck, you’d like me if I was completely asexual. But, for some reason, you’re going to judge me if I’m bi.

You’re probably already thinking, right this moment, “fuck, this girl has a chip on her shoulder.” The problem is, like most metaphorical chopped potatoes, there is a reason I have been moulded into this cynical beast. People, and believe me I’m generalising here, just can’t seem to understand bisexuals. The general populous have a few opinions on this “condition”, which I promise you are all bull. Let’s have a look:

1)      I’m obviously totally gay and just too scared to take that leap.

Well, I never knew I was gay. Thank god I’ve been shown the way… or not. See, I love girls. Girls are fucking sexy. Don’t argue here, because you won’t win. The curves, the feminine contours, the soft and gentle nature, the “cute” factor... Girls are made of awesome.

However, to me, dudes are just as awesome as girls. Guys can be rugged and manly. Let’s face it, guys are hotter with facial hair than girls are. Infact, if you’re a girl with facial hair, GTFO my blog. Unless you own surprised kitty. In that case, you can stay. Guys also have one major contributor that girls really can’t mimic unless it’s strapped to their crotch…

So, even though I think girls are hot, I would never entertain the idea that maybe I’m just gay and haven’t realised it yet.

No, I honestly want both.

Speaking of which…

2)      Well, if you want both, you’re just greedy.

This sentiment is actually more often expressed by people who are gay, rather than people who are straight. I guess a lot of straight people say “I don’t understand it, so I’m just gunna leave you to it…” while gay/lesbian people think they know everything. They’ve been there, they’ve got the skin tight T-shirt with the rainbows on it.

I have actually had people tell me to my face that I am greedy, or confused. Because gay people have made the choice to completely abandon the opposite sex, they cannot understand why I would want to live with a toe dipped in both worlds.

Omer and I... don't we look cute?

Well, because I’m “greedy”, I’m apparently a bigger threat in general. Not only do girls have to watch me around their guys, but guys have to hope I don’t steal their girls too…

Did I miss the memo where bisexual people were supposed to be home-wrecking sluts?

I honestly don’t walk around constantly aroused because I’m surrounded by men and women wherever I look. I don’t consider myself “a kid in a candy store” when I use a unisex changing room. Being bisexual does not automatically make me a whore. I'm actually in a long-term, committed relationship.

3)      Well, in that case, you’re just pretending to be bisexual for attention.

What is it with people thinking it’s okay to come out as gay or lesbian, but if you tell your peers you are bisexual, their first thought will inevitably be “attention seeker.” It really grates on me. Let me tell you why. Because I came out when I was 12… and I got bullied for it. That’s not the kind of attention anyone wants. It would have been so much easier, actually, not to come out, but I could never live a lie.

I didn’t come out because I wanted to look cool, or become popular. I came out because I just couldn’t keep it a secret. Something within me told me to be proud of who I am and tell the world, even if it meant many years of having the piss taken out of me. Now I’m in my twenties and it’s suddenly really cool to be gay. Yet, being bisexual still stands as a taboo for a lot of people.

The Beast with Two Backs

Let me ask you a question: imagine you are a strictly straight guy. If I told you that you could become popular by fucking dudes as well as girls, would you do it? Didn’t think so.

So why do people jump to the conclusion that bisexual people make “the beast with two backs” with both genders just to be popular? Sex is fun (duh), so it should be clear that people have sex with whichever genders they choose because they enjoy it, not because they crave the attention.

Kelly’s Final Thoughts:

Next time a friend of yours comes to you and mutters those three very difficult words: I AM BISEXUAL… tell them you are proud, encourage them to be themselves, and most of all, reassure them that you really do understand.

Join me at Brighton and Hove Pride on the 13th August 2011. I'll be there, representing bisexual people and, well, getting wasted... http://www.brightonpride.org/